Two men yelling at each other

Low Level Anger

Angry black male yelling Angry smoking man

One of the things that I never anticipated when making games were the emotions that I would go through. Yes yes, of course I knew that I would feel excitement and I knew that I would have a certain amount of fear. I knew that I would experience a few other emotions, as well. But one emotion that I was unprepared for was anger. Not so much anger at myself, although, that did come up every now and then whenever I would miss a self imposed deadline or if it would take me too long to figure out a coding problem. No, this anger was not self directed and it was barely noticeable by the casual observer.

I noticed that when I would look through books and magazines on game development that the anger would well up inside me and I wanted to run out of the bookstore and get on my machine and finish my game. Sometimes I would be at an indie game event or lecture and that feeling would come up again like a slowly rising balloon of anger. The anger would be most pronounced when experiencing a game that was lacking in quality. One thing was clear to me. The longer it took for me to release my game the more I would experience these episodes. In fact I can say that this anger is always there sitting in the background pushing and prodding me.
I guess for what it is, it's not so bad. At least it gets me to do my work.

end of line